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April 1, 1999
DJIA Touches 10,000; Greenspan Wins Office Pool
By the Exaggerated Press
NEW YORK (EP) -- As the world already knows, on Tuesday, March 16th, the Dow Jones Industrial Average rose above 10,000 points for the first time ever, electrifying Wall Street...and winning Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan a cool fifty bucks . Greenspan, possibly the most powerful man in the world of economics, had predicted the Dow would hit the milestone on March 16th in a Federal Reserve office betting pool. Predictions were made January 1st of this year.
Some analysts suspect foul play, noting that Greenspan's may have used his influence over the American economy to win the money. "Anything this guy does causes a shift in the market," said Lance Autry, a bond guru and editor of the popular investment website hoopla.com. "If he gets gas, I buy Exxon." Others, like Kevin Weisbaum, a hedge fund manager and -- at press time -- a very rich man, say that Greenspan is "just that good." "Hell, predicted the Holyfield-Lewis fight would be a draw" said Weisbaum. "Now that's intuition."
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Copyright 1999 The Yale Record
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