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April 1, 1999
Counterfeiters Say 'Euro-K, I'm OK'
By the Exaggerated Press
Marseilles, FRANCE (EP) -- Law abiding citizens are not the only ones eagerly anticipating the changeover to a single currency as part of the new plan for an economically united Europe. Counterfeiters from around the world have expressed their suppo rt for the Euro.
Says one burly gent who asked not to be named), "I used to spend 75% of my time engraving all sorts of notes...pounds, francs, lire--well, not lire--Swiss francs, deutschmarks, you name it. Now I can just fake the Euro and go golfing after lunch." Another gangster who controls the funny-money supply in Britain had this to say: "I'm very excited. I can cut costs by hiring workers from around Europe, and at that same time we can expand business. Things have never been better: I'm buying a fourth house and a fifth mistress."
Law enforcement officials have decided to take minimal steps in preventing the upcoming counterfeiting explosion. "I think this is a nice way for criminals from around Europe to come together and smile at each other. I like it when people make new friends," said an EU official.
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Copyright 1999 The Yale Record
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