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April 1, 1999
Lewinsky to Host SNL
By the Exaggerated Press
NEW YORK (EP) -- Coming soon to a TV near you: "Live From New York, it's Monica Lewinsky!"
Today, NBC announced that the ex-White House intern will host the May finale of its venerable laugh-machine Saturday Night Live. "We consider this a fitting climax to SNL's 24th season," said a spokesman for the network. "Why should ABC get all that sweet, sweet money?"
The terms of the deal were not revealed. However, NBC did say that Lewinsky's immunity agreement insists that Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr not be mentioned in sketches. "We'll probably have a lookalike skulking around in the background, in crowd scenes, stuff like that," said an SNL staffer. "Or maybe we'll use scary music."
While the decision was hardly surprising, given the mouth-watering ratings Lewinsky generates, some believe it would be best for America to move on. "What do I care? I'm Canadian." said SNL Executive Producer Lorne Michaels jocularly. "We're all destroying your moronic giant of a country from the inside. You think I'm kidding?" Michaels, who founded SNL in 1975 and is considered a comedic legend, turned to a page. "He knows too much. Shoot him."
An NBC page then pulled out a .22 Beretta, pressed it against the back of my hea
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Copyright 1999 The Yale Record
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