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April 1, 1999
UN to Build Monument to Itself
By the Exaggerated Press
NEW YORK (EP) -- Eleven years after winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the United Nations has finally figured out what it's going to do with the money: build a monument.
The bronze group of statues, entitled "Uncle!", will show a cowering, smaller-than-life UN soldier, surrounded by giant, menacing depictions of the world's strongmen and bully states.
An earlier proposal for an eternal flame was ruled out after New York City officials were concerned that it might attract bums. This was echoed by an official for the peace organization: "Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be for the world's leaders to have to wade through masses of poor people to get to the UN? They'd feel like utter failures."
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Copyright 1999 The Yale Record
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