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April 1, 1999

Monkees Elected to Faux-Rock Hall of Fame


By the Exaggerated Press

AKRON (EP) -- The three surviving members of The Monkees were honored yesterday by the Faux-Rock Hall of Fame. "This is a really special night for us," Peter Tork told the crowd, holding the group's award aloft. "It took no effort and no talent, but finally, we made it." Then Michael Nesmith chimed in: "The Archies suck!" The crowd gave a roar, though whether in agreement or anger was unclear.

"I'm sure Mickey's here in spirit," said the leathern-but-still-impish frontman Davey Jones. Monkee Mickey Dolenz died in 1988, after operating on himself. Following the group's break-up Dolenz became obsessed with finding a new bodily organ to call "the dolenz." He was unsuccessful.

1999 is shaping up to be a banner year for the group: they have just settled a libel suit with the Federal Government after a CDC report mistakenly claimed that AIDS was "first transmitted to humans by The Monkees."

The Monkees are the third Beatle-inspired group to reach the Faux-Rock Hall of Fame, joining The Rutles and, of course, Beatlemania. The Hall, designed by a man who looks like architect I.M. Pei, is located in Akron, Ohio.



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