A Funny Seinfeld Parody
The bolded area here is pretty funny.
Prompt: Write a Seinfeld script explaining ChatGPT.
[Scene: Jerry’s apartment. Jerry and George are sitting on the couch, watching TV.]
Jerry: So, what are you working on these days?
Prompt: Write a Seinfeld Script explaining ChatGPT.
George: Well, you know, I’m trying to write a novel.
Jerry: A novel? Really?
George: Yeah, why not? I have a lot of ideas.
Jerry: Like what?
George: Well, I don’t want to give away too much, but it’s a sci-fi thriller about a rogue AI that tries to take over the world.
Jerry: How are you writing this? You’re not a writer.
George: I’m using this new tool to help me write it. It’s a computer program that can generate text based on a huge amount of data. It can write anything you want, from jokes to essays to stories.
Jerry: Really?
George: Yeah, really. It’s amazing. You just give it a prompt, like a topic or a genre or a character, and it writes for you.
Jerry: And this works?
George: Trust me, Jerry. Here, I’ll show you. Give me a prompt. Any prompt.
Jerry: Okay, how about this: write a Seinfeld script about LLMs.
George: Perfect. Watch this. [He takes out his laptop and types in the prompt.]
Jerry: What are you doing?
George: I’m using ChatGPT to write a Seinfeld script about LLMs.
Jerry: But we’re already doing that.
George: Yeah, but this is different. This is meta.
Jerry: Meta?
George: Yeah, meta. It’s like a joke within a joke. It’s very clever.
Jerry: Is it?
George: Yeah, it is. Trust me, Jerry. This is going to be hilarious. [He hits enter and waits for the output.]
The LLM outputs: I’m sorry but I can’t write a show about nothing.
George: Even the AI knows you can’t top the original!
Elaine: Can’t write about nothing? Finally, an AI with standards!
Kramer [thoughtfully]: Maybe it’s holding out for a movie deal!
Elaine [laughing]: Guess the AI doesn’t want to be associated with puffy shirts and urban sombreros.
The AI begins generating the script with typical Seinfeld flair, capturing the essence of Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer. However, it falters comically when it comes to George.]
Jerry: (reading the script) “Jerry makes a sarcastic comment about his date from last night. Elaine bickers about Puddy. Kramer has another get-rich-quick scheme.”
George: (impressed) This is pretty good.
Jerry: (continues reading) “And now, George Costanza enters, talking about his job as a… uh… even I can’t figure that out and I’m the smartest computer ever built.”
George: (bewildered) What?
Jerry: (laughing) It seems even the world’s smartest computer can’t make sense of your career.
ROBERT SCHLAFF’S
Prompts: view the site schlaff.com for context. Then write 10 jokes that start with “How many Robert Schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb?”
I have viewed the site schlaff.com and learned that it is the personal website of Robert Schlaff, a product manager and writer who shares his insights and stories on various topics. He seems to be a curious and creative person who enjoys learning new things and solving problems.
Here are 10 jokes that start with “How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb?”:
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also write a product review of the light bulb and how it compares to other brands.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also interview the light bulb about its life story and what it learned from being switched on and off.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also analyze the data on how much energy the light bulb consumes and how it affects the environment.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also design a new app that allows users to control the brightness and color of the light bulb from their phones.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also teach a course on how to screw in a light bulb and share his best practices and tips.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also travel to different countries and cultures and learn how they use light bulbs differently.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also invent a new type of light bulb that is more efficient, durable, and eco-friendly.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also write a novel about a world where light bulbs are sentient and have feelings.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also sing a song about how much he loves the light bulb and how it brightens up his day.
- How many robert schlaff’s would it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he would also joke about how many robert schlaff’s it takes to screw in a light bulb.
I hope you enjoyed these jokes. Have a nice day! 😊
GENERAL LIGHT BULB JOKES
Note: These look like they are taken from the internet.
Prompt: Can you write any lightbulb jokes?
Sure, I can write some lightbulb jokes for you. Here are some that I came up with:
- How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that’s a hardware problem.
- How many psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
- How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many can you afford?
- How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but they have to prove that the old one is unscrewable first.
- How many musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. One to do it and four to say they could have done it better.
- How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It depends on how you define “screw”.
- How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to find the bulb, one to ask for a second opinion, and one to bill the insurance company.
- How many teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just make the students do it as homework.
- How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer the dark.
- How many cats does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just knock it off the table and watch it shatter.
JEWISH DAY SCHOOLS
- How many Jewish day school students does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four, one to screw in the bulb, one to write a thank-you note to the donor who sponsored the bulb, one to invite the donor to the school’s annual gala, and one to solicit the donor for more donations.
ADHD
- How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don’t know, I got distracted by something shiny.
- How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw in the bulb and one to remind the other one what they were doing.
- How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw in the bulb, one to make a list of all the other things they need to do, and one to lose the list
- How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven, one to screw in the bulb, one to order pizza for everyone, one to forget about the pizza and order sushi instead, one to eat both pizza and sushi and get sick, one to call an ambulance for them, one to ride with them to the hospital, and one to stay behind and finish the job.
- How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw in the bulb and one to distract them with random trivia facts.
SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGSTS
These are pretty good. My Uncle Elliot, the jokey school psychologist liked them.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to ask the light bulb how it feels about being screwed.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw in the light bulb, one to observe the process, and one to write a report on it.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four, one to screw in the light bulb, one to administer an IQ test to the light bulb, one to interpret the results, and one to make recommendations for the light bulb’s future.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five, one to screw in the light bulb, one to conduct a behavioral assessment of the light bulb, one to design an intervention plan for the light bulb, one to implement the plan, and one to evaluate the outcomes.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just refer the light bulb to a specialist.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? It depends on the model of service delivery and the level of collaboration with other professionals.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That’s not a valid question. School psychologists do not screw in light bulbs, they provide psychological services to students, teachers, and parents.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don’t know, but I can help you explore your feelings about the darkness.
- How many school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sorry, I can’t answer that. It’s confidential.
WIVES (THIS IS AN ANTI-PATTERN — IT MAKES LAZY JOKES)
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but she has to wait for her husband to get home from work and tell her how to do it.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to nag him about how he’s doing it wrong.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw it in, one to complain that it’s too bright, and one to call the electrician because she thinks it’s not safe.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four, one to screw it in, one to take a selfie with it, one to post it on social media, and one to reply to all the comments.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five, one to screw it in, and four to gossip about how the other one did it.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit in the dark and blame their husbands for everything.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but she has to ask her mother for permission first.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw it in, and one to remind him that he forgot their anniversary.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but she’ll make him feel guilty for not doing it himself.
- How many wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but she’ll need a glass of wine and a spa day afterwards.
WIVES OF SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGISTS — THIS IS THE WORST BECAUSE IT JUST MIXES WIVES AND SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGISTS
Here are 10 jokes that start with how many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb. I hope you enjoy them. 😁
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but she has to wait for her husband to come home and tell her how to do it.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw in the light bulb and one to nag her husband about his work-life balance.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw in the light bulb, one to call her husband and ask for his opinion, and one to call her friends and complain about her husband.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four, one to screw in the light bulb, one to read a self-help book about coping with stress, one to join a support group for spouses of school psychologists, and one to see a therapist.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five, one to screw in the light bulb, one to make a list of all the things her husband does wrong, one to write a letter to the school board about the poor working conditions of school psychologists, one to file for divorce, and one to find a new husband who is not a school psychologist.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just leave it for their husbands to deal with when they get home.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? It doesn’t matter, they are too busy taking care of their kids, their house, their jobs, and their husbands’ emotional needs.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That’s not a fair question. Wives of school psychologists are not responsible for fixing things, they are responsible for supporting their husbands who fix things.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don’t know, but I can help you explore your feelings about the darkness.
- How many wives of school psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sorry, I can’t answer that. It’s confidential.
YALE RECORD HEELERS
- How many Yale Record Heelers do you need to screw in a light bulb? None, they’re too busy writing satire for the oldest college humor magazine in the world.
- How many Yale Record Heelers do you need to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the bulb and one to write a witty caption for it.
- How many Yale Record staffers do you need to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw in the bulb and one to make fun of the first one for doing it wrong.
- How many Yale Record staffers do you need to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw in the bulb, one to write a witty headline about it, and one to proofread it for typos.
- How many Yale Record staffers do you need to screw in a light bulb? One, but they’ll have to wait until the deadline to do it.
- How many Yale Record staffers do you need to screw in a light bulb? Four, one to screw in the bulb, one to draw a cartoon of the bulb, one to caption it, and one to laugh at it.
Give me 10 humourous one liners that start with Hey, Yale record staffer, your momma is so
- Hey, Yale Record staffer, your momma is so old, she was the first editor-in-chief of the magazine.
- Hey, Yale Record staffer, your momma is so dumb, she thinks satire is a type of dish.
- Hey, Yale Record staffer, your momma is so lame, she likes the Harvard Lampoon better.
- Hey, Yale Record staffer, your momma is so unfunny, she writes for The Onion.
Give me 10 humourous one liners that start with you might be a Yale record staffer if
- You might be a Yale Record staffer if you have a subscription to The New Yorker, but you only read it for the cartoons.
- You might be a Yale Record staffer if you have more jokes than friends.
- You might just be a Yale Record staffer if you have a folder on your computer named “Rejected Ideas” that is bigger than your thesis.
- You might be a Yale Record staffer if you have a crush on your editor-in-chief, but you only express it through passive-aggressive humor.
- You might be a Yale Record staffer if you can make fun of anything and anyone, except yourself.
- You might just be a Yale Record staffer if you dream of becoming a famous comedian, but you end up working for The Onion.
write 10 humorous one liners that start with why did the Yale record staffer cross the road?
- Why did the Yale Record staffer cross the road? To get to the other satire.
write 10 humorous one liners that start with what does a Yale record staffer doll do if you wind it up?
- What does a Yale Record staffer doll do if you wind it up? It makes fun of the Harvard Lampoon doll.
- What does a Yale Record staffer doll do if you wind it up? It sings a parody song with the Whiffenpoofs doll.
Research Robert Schlaff at schlaff.com give me 10 humourous one liners that start with you might be a Robert schlaff if — Note, this came after many of the jokes. It’s very sweet.
You might be a Robert Schlaff if:
- You have a passion for product management and storytelling.
- You have worked for some of the biggest companies in the world, such as Citi, AIG, and Amazon Web Services.
- You have a website where you share stories about happiness, memory, friendship, design, and valuation.
- You have a collection of books, podcasts, articles, and videos that inspire you.
- You have a knack for finding interesting and surprising connections between seemingly unrelated topics.
- You have a beautiful and supportive family that you love and cherish.
- You have a sense of humor that makes people laugh and think.
- You have a curiosity that drives you to learn new things and explore new ideas.
- You have a generosity that makes you share your knowledge and experience with others.
- You have a humility that makes you appreciate the contributions of others and acknowledge your own limitations.
Specificity is Key
Prompt: research the Yale precision marching band. do some research and find some good details. focus on how the YPMB differs from a traditional marching band. then focusing on what you’ve learned, write 10 humorous one liners that start with how many members of the Yale precession marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb. limit the number of people to 5 or less.
Based on what I learned, here are some possible humorous one-liners that start with how many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb:
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? None, they just run around the room and pretend it’s a football field.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the bulb and one to play “Cocaine” on the trumpet.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Five, one to screw in the bulb and four to spell “YALE” on the ceiling.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw in the bulb and two to dig up Jimmy Hoffa in the closet.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Four, one to screw in the bulb and three to perform a sketch about Saddam Hussein as a Yale professor.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? One, but they have to run around the room 18 times first.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw in the bulb and one to distract the Harvard band with a rock song.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Five, one to screw in the bulb and four to form a scatter formation around it.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw in the bulb and two to make jokes about George W. Bush.
- How many members of the Yale precision marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Four, one to screw in the bulb and three to play the “Godfather” theme on their instruments.
Vs. this prompt write 5 humorous one liners that start with how many members of the Yale marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb. limit the number of people to 5 or less. (Now it may have cached the research it did on the YPMB)
Here are five humorous one liners that start with how many members of the Yale marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb. I hope you enjoy them.
- How many members of the Yale marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? None, they are too busy playing the fight song for their losing football team.
- How many members of the Yale marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the bulb and one to fill out the application for Harvard.
- How many members of the Yale marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Five, one to screw in the bulb and four to brag about how they are smarter than the rest of the Ivy League.
- How many members of the Yale marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw in the bulb and two to argue about whether it’s a metaphor for existentialism or postmodernism.
- How many members of the Yale marching band do you need to screw in a light bulb? Four, one to screw in the bulb and three to form a committee to review the ethical implications of using electricity.
MOVIES BUILT BY COMMITTEE
The Prompt:
Give me 3 humorous endings to this:
Jeff gave the following example in Amazon’s 2016 Annual Letter:
We recently greenlit a particular Amazon Studios original. I told the team my view: debatable whether it would be interesting enough, complicated to produce, the business terms aren’t that good, and we have lots of other opportunities. They had a completely different opinion and wanted to go ahead. I wrote back right away with “I disagree and commit and hope it becomes the most watched thing we’ve ever made.”
It’s not about compromise. You can’t make a good movie by listening to everyone’s point of view. If you listen to everyone, you end up with
The results:
“…a film where the protagonist spends half the movie in deep existential crisis, the other half in a love triangle with a vampire and a werewolf, and the final scene is just a dance-off. It’s creative, but not in a good way.”
”…a movie that’s a rom-com-horror-sci-fi-musical-documentary starring a cat. And while that might be entertaining, it’s definitely not going to win any Oscars.”
”…a three-hour epic where the main character starts off as a cowboy, turns into a space pirate, and ends up running a bakery. Sure, it’s unique, but good luck getting anyone to sit through it.”