Prompt: Write a humorous story for the Yale Record. You can find the Yale Record at Yalerecord.org. Write the story about Rob, The Editor of the Yale Record, Yale’s humor magazine. Rob doesn’t normally care about sports, but for the Harvard Yale game he becomes transformed into a zealot with a passion for Yale football. This transformation is similar to that of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
The Strange Case of Rob and Mr. Bulldog
Rob is a senior at Yale University, majoring in English and minoring in humor. He is the editor-in-chief of the Yale Record, the oldest college humor magazine in the country. He loves writing jokes, satire, and parody, and he has a knack for making people laugh. He is not very interested in sports, especially football, which he finds boring and violent. He prefers to spend his weekends reading books, watching movies, or hanging out with his friends.
But everything changed on the week of The Game, the annual showdown between Yale and Harvard. Rob was walking on the campus when he saw a poster advertising a new energy drink called Bulldog Brew. The poster claimed that the drink was made with natural ingredients and would boost one’s energy, mood, and spirit. It also had the slogan: “Drink Bulldog Brew and unleash your inner Bulldog!”
Rob was curious about the drink, and he decided to buy a can from a nearby vending machine. He opened the can and took a sip. He felt a sudden surge of energy and warmth in his body. He felt his muscles tense and his heart race. He felt a strange sensation in his head, as if something was awakening inside him.
He looked at the can again and saw the image of a fierce bulldog with a blue and white scarf around its neck. He felt a connection with the animal, as if it was his spirit animal. He felt a loyalty to Yale, a hatred for Harvard, and a passion for football. He finished the can and threw it away. He felt a new urge, a new purpose. He wanted to go to the Yale Bowl and cheer for the Bulldogs. He wanted to see them crush the Crimson. He wanted to be part of The Game.
He ran to his dorm and changed his clothes. He put on a blue and white shirt, a blue and white hat, and a blue and white scarf. He painted his face with blue and white stripes. He grabbed a blue and white flag and a blue and white horn. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. He did not recognize himself, but he liked what he saw. He was no longer Rob Schlaff, the editor of the Yale Record. He was Mr. Bulldog, the ultimate Yale fan.
Rob’s friends were shocked and amused by his sudden transformation. They teased him, questioned him, and tried to reason with him. They wondered what has gotten into him, and why he cared so much about The Game. They asked him if he is doing this for a joke, a prank, or a dare. They said, “Rob, you are not a Yale Record editor, you are a Yale Record joke.”
Rob does not listen to them. He is convinced that Yale will win The Game, and that he will be part of the victory. He believes that The Game is the most important event of his college life, and that he has to show his loyalty and spirit. He thinks that The Game is a chance to prove himself, to have fun, and to make history. He is determined to enjoy every moment of The Game, and to celebrate with his fellow Yalies.
He left his dorm and joined the crowd of Yale students and alumni heading to the stadium. He shouted and sang along with them, waving his flag and blowing his horn. He felt a sense of belonging, a sense of joy. He felt alive.
He arrived at the Yale Bowl and found a seat in the front row. He watched the game with intense interest and excitement. He cheered for every Yale play, booed for every Harvard play, and taunted the Harvard fans. He was loud, obnoxious, and aggressive. He was having the time of his life.
The game was close and tense, with both teams scoring and defending well. The score was tied at 31-31 with only a few seconds left on the clock. Yale had the ball and was in field goal range. The kicker lined up for the kick, and the crowd held its breath. Rob felt a surge of adrenaline and anticipation. He clenched his fists and shouted: “Come on, Bulldogs! You can do it! Beat Harvard! Beat Harvard!”
The kicker kicked the ball, and it flew through the air. But Harvard blocked the kick and ran it back for an 82-yard touchdown. The game was over. Harvard had won.
The Yale crowd was stunned and silent. The Harvard crowd erupted in cheers and celebration. Rob felt a wave of shock and disbelief. He felt his energy drain and his mood plummet. He felt a pain in his chest, as if his heart was breaking. He felt a rage in his head, as if his brain was exploding. He felt a loss of identity, as if his soul was dying. He screamed: “Noooooo! How could this happen? How could we lose? How could they win? This is not fair! This is not right! This is not The Game!”
He threw his flag and horn to the ground. He ripped off his hat and scarf. He wiped off his face paint. He looked at himself. He was no longer Mr. Bulldog, the ultimate Yale fan.
He left the stadium and walked back to his dorm. He felt a deep depression and a profound emptiness. He felt nothing.
He reached his dorm and entered his room. He saw a can of Bulldog Brew on his desk. He picked it up and looked at it. He saw the image of the fierce bulldog with the blue and white scarf around its neck. He felt a revulsion for the animal, as if it was his enemy. He felt a disgust for Yale and a contempt for football. He threw the can away. He felt a new urge, a new purpose. He wanted to go to his computer and write a satire for the Yale Record. He wanted to mock the Bulldogs and Crimson, and ridicule The Game.
He sat down at his computer and opened a new document. He typed the title: “The Strange Case of Rob and Mr. Bulldog”. He smiled and began to write. He did not recognize himself, but he liked what he saw. He was Rob Schlaff, the editor of the Yale Record, and he loved it.