Blake’s Bar Mitzvah: Blessings for Blake

Abigail:

Blake, we are so proud of you. I know you hear that a lot from us. I’ve told you so many times about how proud I was of how you moved to Shefa and how well you’ve been doing that you just roll your eyes at me and say, “Yes Mom, I know you’re proud of me.” But today is a day for kvelling and we wanted to offer you some key blessings.

Robert:

For our 1st Blessing: May You Work Hard and Achieve Your Goals

You did such a great job today leading prayers and chanting your Haftorah. You studied hard and managed to do it with all the other things that you have going on. And we know it wasn’t easy.

Last month we sat with Jessica and you said “This is crazy, you want me to learn one line of Hebrew a day. I can’t do that!”

And I said, “What about 1 line every other day?”

And you said, “I could do that, but I don’t want to.” But you did it! And you did it so well! That’s what growing up is all about—learning how to do things that are difficult but not impossible.

Abigail:

For the 2nd Blessing: May You Always Find a Joy in a Jewish Community

You may not know this but we came to Habonim because of you. We used to go to the Brotherhood Synagogue, far away in Gramercy Park. But when you were born, we started looking for a shul closer to home.

On Shabbat, Dad would take you to Torah Tots at Habonim. This was a time for you and Dad to bond and have fun at shul. Eventually, I joined you for Shabbat lunch. It was very nice so I started to come more and more, joining the sisterhood, the sisterhood board, and then your buddy Neil made me do more work.

I know it’s not cool to say that you like going to services, so we won’t say that. But when you’re forced to go to services, you make the most of it. You and your brother have been doing Ashrei for years in preparation for your Bar Mitzvah. When you smile so broadly when people congratulate you for a job well done. I don’t think you know how happy the older members are to see you participate each week.

Shul is a family to you. When you hear that someone sick, your face drops and you say, “Oh no. I hope they’ll be OK.” And it gives you a place to really talk with adults. I remember when you were sitting with Eva Bergman on her 96th birthday along with Linda Goldstein. You were 7 and just telling them about your day and they were so happy to hear from you.

We hope that this is just the beginning of your lifelong connection to Judaism and that you use your wonderful ability to connect with people to find a Jewish home no matter wherever you are.

Robert:

For our 3rd Blessing: May You Continue to Embrace Judaism in Your Own Way

Mom and I didn’t grow up going to day school or going to Jewish summer camp. But every day you’re praying, whether it’s at Shefa or Ramah. You say, “These aren’t really prayer services, just a few minutes every day,” but it’s become part of your daily ritual and you’re learning a huge amount.

A few months ago, at Shabbat services, you leaned over to me and said, “When is the service over?”

I told you what I always told you, something like “I don’t know. Maybe noon” or maybe I said, “See if they’ve put the lox out, services will be over soon.”

And then you said, “Dad. Dad. How can that be? It’s 11:15 now and all we have left is the Amidah, Hatzi Kaddish, Alenu, Ein Kelohenu, and Adon Olom. How can you get to noon?”

And we both realized that you know more than me. So now, when we’re in the middle of the service, I just ask you how much time is left.

You take this Jewish learning and lessons and figure out how to apply them to your life. Like one time last year when we were coming back from a Bar Mitzvah. We were in the car and you said, “Stop telling me that I can’t download free apps. You tell me that nothing is free and that I am trading my privacy for the app. But I want to download free apps on my phone!”

And Mom and I took a pause and said, “Tell us more.”

So you said:

  1. First of all, I’m 12 years old, almost Bar Mitzvah age, and I should be able to decide, what kind of apps I want on my phone.
  2. Second, you say that nothing is free and that people are stealing my information. But I’m giving them my data. It’s not like they’re into down my house and for me stealing it from me. Or if I give this information they’re going to find me and make my life worse.
  3. Third, they want this information make so that they can better tell which ads to show me. And I really like watching ads so more companies could have more information about me to show me better ads, that would be awesome.

Mom and I turned to each other a bit confused but very impressed.

Then you said, “I learn how to argue like this in my Jewish Studies class.”

Abigail:

When many kids become Bar Mitzvahed, they see it as an ending of something. And while it’s certainly the end of practicing your Hatorah, it’s only the beginning of your life as an adult. But as you continue this journey, we want to remind you to work hard, find joy in shul, and continue to integrate Judaism into the core of your life.