When I was a senior in college, I took a social psychology class. One of the assignments of the class was to break a social norm. I thought this was awesome. It was an academic license to play a prank. It’s kind of like asking all of the students to perform their own personal Candid Camera and write about it.
A social norm is an unwritten rule that governs acceptable or unacceptable in society. For instance, in many cultures, it’s customary to shake hands when greeting someone, to say “please” and “thank you,” and to stand in line when waiting for services. Other norms include maintaining personal space during conversations, dressing appropriately for different occasions, and refraining from speaking loudly in quiet places like libraries or movie theaters. These norms help create a sense of order and predictability in society, guiding our actions and interactions with others.
Breaking social norms lets you understand what these norms are. Some examples of previous norm breaking were benign but still fascinating. Did you know that everyone always faces the door of an elevator. What happens if you don’t? It’ll freak people out. Or talking loudly and storming out of class. Or raising your hand during the entire class. See what fun I could have!
I decided the social norm I would break was to write a fictitious paper. I asked the teaching assistant about it and she thought this was a funny idea. She agreed that deviating from the assignment itself could be a fascinating way to explore the concept of norm-breaking within the academic setting.
I wrote a paper about “Playing with Babies,” a satirical account of various experiments involving interactions with babies in unconventional ways. This fictional narrative was crafted to appear as a genuine social psychology experiment, complete with exaggerated scenarios that ranged from discussing politics with babies to pretending to put them in dangerous situations.
When the teacher returned the papers she talked about some of the creative things that the students did. I told her, “I wonder why you didn’t highlight my paper. I thought I was pretty creative.” She responded, “No, I didn’t. I don’t have time to read everyone’s paper, but if you give it to me, I will read it.”
When she read it, she was floored. She took it seriously up until the end. I ended up getting an A- for pranking my teacher.
At some point I should write it up more clearly but here are my favorite comments (in context):
The mother believes that when her eyes are covered, the baby will reappear when his eyes are opened. But, I reasoned, what would happen if that social norm were broken. So when the mother’s eyes were closed, I took the baby and quickly hid him somewhere in the store before the mother opened her eyes. (TA: Yikes! Not really violating a social norm either, I don’t think. Professor: You could have gotten in a lot of trouble. Not ethical to do this!) Baby not being there when mom opens eyes.)
I figured that the mother would undergo a brief period of consternation but once the experiment was explained to her, she should appreciate the gain (TA: I’m not so sure about this) 7 I had made to my understanding of psychological principles, and be glad she partook in the experiment. While this was true with most of the subjects, it was not true for one mother, Terry. She was very upset with me, (TA: Yes!) even after she realized that her son Ralph wouldn’t suffer any permanent damage.
As Ralph tumbled down the stairs, knocking his head on the ground floor and then starting to bleed slightly from the head. (TA: 🙁 Goodness. Dangerous.)
Some of these ideas included pretending to cut and mutilate the baby (using fake blood), replacing the baby’s bottle with something that looked poisonous and would make the baby convulse, and setting the baby’s carriage on fire (after removing the baby without the mother’s knowledge). I finally settled on pretending to throw the baby in front of a moving car. (TA: I’m having a difficult time believing you did this).
Here’s where it gets really fun:
Then I threw the “baby” in front of a green Volkswagen that was coming up the street. The mother became extremely excited when she’d seen what I had done, thrusting herself in the path of the oncoming car, only to realize that her own child was safe in his stroller. She quickly called for police to arrest me. I was surprised at her reaction. (TA: Really?) I felt that this experiment was at least as valid as the Stanford Prison Study and didn’t understand why anyone would get that upset about it.(TA: Good Lord) Was it really worse than simply stressing students by giving them exams and grading them? I don’t think so. (TA: I do)
Final comments from the TA and Professor.
TA’s comments:
“How do you feel about having broken the social norm you did? Why did you do it? What did you learn from doing it? Anything about social norms? Clever idea – you had me pulled in at first – until it got too outrageous. Good work. 93. A-”
Professor’s comments:
“You scared the heck out of me! I was ready to call your VP and have a very serious conversation. I’m so relieved mothers actually went through this anguish!!!
P.S. Please don’t give me a heart attack on the second paper”
Here’s the Paper:
Robert Schlaff – Social Psychology – Spring 1999 – Breaking Social Norms
Playing with Babies
It took me a long time to figure out what social norm to break for this paper. First I thought about shooting water at the professor but I heard there’s an email forward about someone who’s already done that. But then I talked to my friend Shawn. He told me that this paper is just an excuse to have fun. So I figured I might as well do something that I enjoy but don’t do very much at Yale: Play with babies. I’ve always found it interesting how people relate with babies.
I started my project outside the Yale Coop on the afternoon of Thursday January 28. I noticed that most people speak to babies in baby talk – “goo-goos” and “ga-gas.” Some people break this norm by speaking to babies like real people, assuming that the baby will mature more quickly. I decided to talk to babies about truly mature things, like my classes and German philosophy. That should make babies really smart!1 The first baby that I met was named “Sheila Sofferman.” Sheila is an extremely intelligent 18-month-old who looked like she might like to discuss current politics. So I walked up to Sheila and introduced myself. “I’m Rob,” I said.
“Me Sheila,” she replied.
“So Sheila, what do you think of the impeachment trial Sheila?”
Sheila shook her rattle with glee.
“So I guess you’re a Republican.”
She smiled and laughed a lot.
“So I guess you’re kind of upset about that Henry Hyde’s ‘youthful indiscretion.’ Don’t you think a lot of Republicans are being hypocritical?” Sheila started to cry. I think she was crying to avoid answering the question but her mother,2 Sharon, said she just needed to be changed. This conversation went on for about five minutes. Sharon and Sheila seemed quite amused by the whole situation and quite a few passers-by did double takes when they realized I was speaking to Sheila and not her mother.
After saying goodbye to Sheila and Sharon, I talked two other children with very similar results. I know that we were only supposed to break only one social norm for this paper, but I wanted to do something more interesting with babies so I broke another one.3
The next day, Friday the 30th, I broke the norm that people are friendly toward babies. When most people go up to a toddler, they smile and are generally friendly. I decided to go up to a child with her mother and play peek-a-boo with her. But instead of being friendly, I would have a very stoic look on my face. I was wondering how long it would be for a mother to think it strange and pull her child away. I performed this demonstration on the lower level of the Yale Bookstore, near the sweatshirts. My first few tries were very unrewarding. Though I tried to seem unfriendly, the babies were really cute and I couldn’t keep from cracking a smile. The mothers didn’t see any problem with me playing with their children.
To make myself seem more fearsome to mothers, I changed into my favorite gang-banger outfit: ripped baggy jeans, a cap with a good old Jolly Roger on it, and a black shirt with white writing that says “Killing police – one man at a time.” When I went back to The Bookstore this time I got much better results. Part of the reason was that I got into the mood with my rebel garb, I was able to not smile at the babies.
Six seconds after I started playing with young Daniel (in his carriage) his mother quickly stepped in. When she checked on her son, she saw that he was having a wonderful time. Not wanting to upset him, she continued to play with him. Surprisingly, this happened with 4 of the 9 babies I played with. The babies loved me but the mothers were afraid of me.4 This gave me the idea for my next study.
I realized that peek-a-boo plays on a social norm of babies. Babies believe that if they can’t see their mother, their mother isn’t really there. When a baby opens his eyes, his mother reappears. I wondered what would happen if instead of peek-a-boo being interesting to the baby, it was something interesting to the mother. The mother believes that when her eyes are covered, the baby will reappear when his eyes are opened. But, I reasoned, what would happen if that social norm were broken. So when the mother’s eyes were closed, I took the baby and quickly hid him somewhere in the store before the mother opened her eyes.5 6
I figured that the mother would undergo a brief period of consternation but once the experiment was explained to her, she should appreciate the gain7 I had made to my understanding of psychological principles, and be glad she partook in the experiment. While this was true with most of the subjects, it was not true for one mother, Terry. She was very upset with me,8 even after she realized that her son Ralph wouldn’t suffer any permanent damage.
I was dressed in my normal student garb, having rid myself of punk outfit, and approached various babies in their strollers. I approached Terry and Ralph and soon gained Terry’s goodwill. She would cover her eyes for 15 seconds at a time. I after a few minutes I used those 15 seconds to take Ralph to the second floor, where he was supposed to be watched by my friend Jimmy. Jimmy had watched the other children perfectly, but then again, that was before Monique showed up. Jimmy has had a huge crush on Monique since he was in high school. Even so, I can’t bring myself to forgive him for walking away from Ralph. As Jimmy walked away, Ralph started to explore the store, crawling near the books, the carpet, and unfortunately the stairs. Stairs and 10 month olds don’t mix very well, as I found out as Ralph tumbled down the stairs, knocking his head on the ground floor and then starting to bleed slightly from the head.9 Though Terry was livid at first, Ralph quickly regained consciousness and no charges were pressed. Terry’s hugely excited state when she thought that Ralph had been harmed gave me an idea for the last study.
After seeing how startled mothers can be when their children are in danger, I wanted to test this in a controlled demonstration. I had a came up with a series of theatrics that would surprise a mother and convince her that her child was in danger. Some of these ideas included pretending to cut and mutilate the baby (using fake blood), replacing the baby’s bottle with something that looked poisonous and would make the baby convulse, and setting the baby’s carriage on fire (after removing the baby without the mother’s knowledge). I finally settled on pretending to throw the baby in front of a moving car.10
I walked down Chapel Street looking for women with baby strollers. I quickly spotted my first subject. The baby was dressed in a pink one piece very similar to a doll that I was concealing underneath my jacket. I walked parallel to her carriage for a few blocks. Then, without warning, I pretended to grab the baby from the stroller (what I really did was take out the doll from under my coat.) Then I threw the “baby” in front of a green Volkswagen that was coming up the street. The mother became extremely excited when she’d seen what I had done, thrusting herself in the path of the oncoming car, only to realize that her own child was safe in his stroller. She quickly called for police to arrest me. I was surprised at her reaction.11 I felt that this experiment was at least as valid as the Stanford Prison Study and didn’t understand why anyone would get that upset about it.12 Was it really worse than simply stressing students by giving them exams and grading them? I don’t think so.13
By this point you’re probably thinking there’s something wrong with this paper, and that’s because there is. The entire paper was a farce, perpetrated to break the social norm that if people hand in papers that are similar to the assignments that they are given for a class, the reader will assume that the paper actually fulfills the assignment.14
I gave this paper up to that point to four of my friends to read, telling them that I wanted them to look it over. The responses from these people were very similar. One of my friends, Valerie Wolrich, said that the paper was very much like me. By this she didn’t mean that I cause people emotional distress for fun but that I often do things in ways different than other people. I guess this means that I often break social norms.15
The most common reaction I got was something like “You made a baby bleed to do your experiment?” or something like that. Actually one person said “You spoke to a random person for five minutes, Wow.” It was funny because once they asked me if the story was real they didn’t anymore. After all of them finished reading they said they really liked it and thought that it was very funny.
How do you feel about having broken the social norm you did? Why did you do it? What did you learn from doing it? Anything about social norms? Clever idea – you had me pulled in at first – until it got too outrageous. Good work.
TA’s comments:
“How do you feel about having broken the social norm you did? Why did you do it? What did you learn from doing it? Anything about social norms? Clever idea – you had me pulled in at first – until it got too outrageous. Good work. 93. A-”
Professor’s comments:
“You scared the heck out of me! I was ready to call your VP and have a very serious conversation. I’m so relieved mothers actually went through this anguish!!!
P.S. Please don’t give me a heart attack on the second paper”
- TA: Indeed! ↩︎
- I agree! I’ll have to try this tactic when I ↩︎
- TA: good good. ↩︎
- TA: Perhaps not too surprising. ↩︎
- TA: Yikes! Not really violating a social norm either, I don’t think. (Baby not being there when mom opens eyes.) ↩︎
- Professor: You could have gotten in a lot of trouble. Not ethical to do this! ↩︎
- TA: I’m not so sure about this… ↩︎
- TA: Yes ↩︎
- TA: 🙁 Goodness. Dangerous. ↩︎
- TA: I’m having a difficult time believing you did this. ↩︎
- TA: Really. ↩︎
- TA: Good Lord. ↩︎
- TA: I do. ↩︎
- TA: Yes, a reader might assume the assignment was done. ↩︎
- TA: Nothing wrong with that. ↩︎