Wishing You a Far Better 2021

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Hello Friends,

We started 2020 with such high aspirations! The world was entering a whole new decade and we were going to do great things. Then came March. It’s hard to fathom how quickly things changed from “Of course they won’t cancel the Bat Mitzvah” to “School has been closed, pick up your things in the fall.” As I wrote about, everyone has their own issues but we should all be proud of making it through.

For this year of corona-craziness, I wanted to highlight some of the positive things in life.

I’ve split this missive into two parts. The first part is a general family update. Next, for those of you still with me, I’ll take you through some of the blog posts I’ve written this year and a tour of my digital library. Let’s get started.

FAMILY PICTURES

Looking back at previous years, we’d done so much travel and seen so much of the world. So this year we decided to take a break and spend it with Fortnite characters and Harry Potter wizards.

PRE-COVID

In January and February, we were all ready to be tired and lazy during Martin Luther King Day and Presidents’ Week, but we managed to drag our butts out of the house. We went skiing at Mount Snow with my parents and had a lovely trip to the Pocanos with Abigail’s sister Rachel and her family. Boy, are we glad we got that done before lockdown!

Our Skiing Trip for MLK Weekend

With the Goulds During Presidents Day

180 DAYS AT THE BEACH

On March 14th (Pi day), Abigail was ready to make a celebratory pie, when I announced that we were immediately leaving to head to my parents’ house to avoid the craziness of New York City. We figured we’d be out with them at the beach for a couple of weeks—maybe a month. We came back six months later.

Blake and My Dad on the Beach

Our First Outing (2 Months After Arriving)

Ari at the Beach

INSTEAD OF HAVING A BIG PARTY IN TENNESSEE…

This was a year when rituals were squashed by the pandemic. Before COVID moved into high gear, I wrote about how everything fun is bad for you. We normally visit my in-laws in Tennessee over the summer, going to Dollywood and searching for the best BBQ in the country. Not only couldn’t we visit this year, but we also missed a milestone birthday for my mother-in-law. Instead, we made her a video. I wrote about how even though it wasn’t perfect, we were able to commemorate this key event.

What We Did for Jeanne’s Birthday

GOLFING

There were a few bright spots to our quarantine. Being quarantined in Long Island with few activities, my very gracious parents introduced the boys to the sport of lawyers and bankers. My boys learned to play golf. My mother would perk up in the middle of the day and say, “Blake, do you want to play nine holes of golf?” I’ve never seen the boy move so fast.

Golfing with Nana and Popi

Blake Golfing

Ari Golfing

THE BOYS

Blake and Ari have been very resilient this year, dealing with social distancing, homeschooling, and the general turbulence of the world. They’ve been working on chores like cooking and making lunch. They even got better at praying, going to virtual synagogue with my father.

First Day of School. The signs say that
Blake Wants to be an Inventor or a Gamer.
Ari Wants to “Do Something with Technology.”

First Days of School Through the Years (2015-2020)

Ari and Blake at Virtual Temple

BLAKE

Blake has started off 6th grade in a new school! I remember how sixth grade for me was the transition between, “Just do your best” and “You get no credit if your answers aren’t in complete sentences.” It’s a big transition but Blake is rising to the challenge! Early in the year, Blake explained how friendships work in Fortnite, which became quite useful during lockdown. Like any good 11-year-old, he’s obsessed with watching movies and quoting lines. Here is Blake giving Simone’s speech in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. He even found some hilarious trivia about Tom Wilson, the actor who plays Biff in Back to the Future. His best line of the year might be a paraphrase of the Simpsons, “I hate this coronavirus. Stupid Flanders!”

Homemade School Picture

Power Washing!

Learning What’s Inside Computers

ARI

Ari’s in 3rd grade now. At least we think he is. He’s hard to find, burrowed away reading a book or playing math games on his iPad. Ari is practicing being cute, responsible, and hard-working. He’s a bit bored being inside all the time but that’s what all of his Harry Potter and Percy Jackson books are for! He wants you to know that while he’s very picky with food, he makes up for it by giving great hugs.

Homemade School Picture

Contemplating Life

Ari at the Queens Museum (Pre-COVID)

ABIGAIL AND ME

Abigail and I have had a great year together. We’ve been together almost 17 years and each year keeps getting better.

This year wasn’t easy for anyone, but Abigail had quite a bit extra to conquer. She has been a super mom, wife, account executive, barber, hair colorist, laundress, and garage organizer this year. She also spent 6 months at my parents’ house, where she cooked elaborate meals for the 6 of us 180 days in a row. And her beloved Flywheel declared bankruptcy, so she’s been relegated to riding a Peloton. She is Vice President at our temple, Habonim, and contributes substantial time and energy to help make it a great place to be.

As for me, I’ve just started a new role at Fiserv as the VP of Digital Integration. It’s a great role on a wonderful team. I’m working on some awesome stuff but can’t talk about it just yet. Before I got this job, I did a lot of consulting and advising. I’ve helped Norcon Communications built up its web presence and marketing. I’ve done some blogging for myself and for Midas Exchange. I advised Bondle, a start-up that’s changing the game of managing business-critical conversations and documents. Oh, and I spent a lot of time growing my beard. In normal years I have a winter beard, but I felt that this year called for something extra special.

What’s We Looked Like Before Lockdown
(With Regular Winter Beard)

Me During Pandemic

So that’s the end of Part 1—the picture heavy bit. For those of you who want to nerd out, get ready for the next bit where I talk about:

  • My Writing and Speeches for the Year
  • Some Inspiring and Funny Things
  • COVID Humor and Quotes for the Year
  • My Brand New Digital Library of Useful Things

As we say in Judaism L’Chaim (To Life)! And I look forward to seeing you in real life in 2021!

Rob

2020 THOUGHTS SECTION

Hello again!

Thanks for staying with me on this New Year’s Day. My friend Marc noticed that this part of the holiday letter is a lot like the vanity cards that Chuck Lorre puts at the end of his shows like Young Sheldon. It’s a shout out to anyone who wants to stick around and go one level deeper. So sit back with a nice hot cocoa with some Ole Smokey Moonshine and enjoy.

A HOLIDAY GIFT FOR YOU

I wanted to give you all a meaningful holiday gift. This is difficult during normal times, and even more difficult during the pandemic.

I’ve always admired people who can give holiday gifts that are truly unique. Designers do it best. Earlier this year, I wrote about Thomas Heatherwick’s Christmas gifts. From 1994 to 2010, Heatherwick, creator of New York’s Vessel, created original, unique, and surprising Christmas cards. There was even a museum exhibit of these cards.

Another wonderful gift was on the TV show Sports Night, when Aaron Sorkin put his Christmas gift in the show. During the Christmas episode of 1998, Sorkin had the fictional sportscasters thank the real backstage cast as part of the episode. So when the cast thanks Maureen Gates and Joseph Rivetto, these are real people.

But alas, I’m not a designer or a TV creator. I’m a writer. So this note is my holiday gift to you.

MY WRITING

I had more time than normal this year to do some writing. This letter is my “best of” for the year, but there’s a lot more at my website schlaff.com. The website also has a new introduction and a list of my favorite articles. You can subscribe to my blog to stay updated during the year.

So why do I blog? I write for me and I write for you.

I write for me. As I wrote in Why I Write, it’s a way of documenting my life and thoughts. It helps me clarify what I think and who I want to be. It also shows me how I change over time and how I stay the same. Hopefully, it’s a story about becoming a better thinker and a better person.

I also write for all of you. I like to blog to share my thoughts with you and stay in touch. As I said in my Toastmasters Speech, Why I Blog, I used to tell these long rambling stories, which would bore my friends. Now that I can tweak them into pithy blog posts, my friends send me reviews like “Your blog is awesome. It’s like what Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Goop’ but much better,” and “Thank you for your post Six Amazonian Secrets You Can Use! I’ve shared it with everyone at work.”

MY BLOG(S)

Here are some of my favorite pieces this year about Amazon and working:

My favorite blog posts about discovery and art:

  • The Joy of the Hunt. I love hunting for interesting things, from hidden castles toYale’s secret societies.
  • Taking the Red Pill of Art. Thinking like an artist is hard. Here’s my journey (so far) as an artist.
  • The Art of the Book in the Digital Age. I picked up a book at the New York Public Library with a big purple stamp that read, “The Author of This Book Committed Suicide.” This led to quite an interesting adventure.

I wrote about digital media this year, writing the entire Midas Exchange Blog. My favorite was The Best Social Media Isn’t Just About Social Platforms.

MY SPEECHES

I’ve always wanted to get better at public speaking. This year I had my chance! I joined Toastmasters and have been the VP of education for DE Squared Toastmasters. As Toastmasters is an organization about making speeches, you should probably watch my recruiting speech rather than read this section. I’ve learned the difference between reading a speech vs. connecting with an audience. It’s quite a bit of fun. We’re on Zoom these days, so shoot me an email or join our meetup group if you’re interested in joining our monthly meetings. We meet on the third Monday of each month.

Here are some of my favorite speeches (with more here):

ON HAPPINESS AND MEANING

At this point in the letter, I normally talk about happiness, but last year was brutal. No matter who I talk with, I’m constantly reminded of the opening line of Anna Karenina, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

I wrote about this in Making the Most of This Ugly Year. While sulking through this dispiriting mess of a year, I picked up Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl, who survived Aushwitz, believed that we can live a meaningful life in three ways: through work, love/caring for others, and courage in difficult times. It’s the third one that we often forget and overlook. In these difficult times, it’s worth taking a step back and realizing that there’s something noble in overcoming these challenges. Or as Dr. Suess said, “When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” Instead of framing this year as “This sucks” we can frame it as “This sucks, but I’ve been working hard to overcome it, and I should feel good about that.” Give it a try!

I’ve written a bit about happiness this year:

I also have some blog posts on friendship:

  • Thank You for Being a Friend. Friendship is about being there for other people. Anyone can celebrate with you when it’s convenient. A true friend stands by you when things are tough.
  • Global Pandemic and Global Friendship. These days, contacting friends down the street is as difficult as contacting friends in Asia. Early in the pandemic, I caught up with some of my friends around the world to compare notes.
  • Guest Post: Blake Schlaff on Fortnite Friendships. This is Blake’s insider account of the social world inside of Fortnite. Blake and his friends give each other birthday gifts and he’s even thrown a party.

I’ve also got a lot of happiness and inspiration links on my website. Here are some of my favorites:

ON HUMOR

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries is not “Eureka!” (I found it!) but “That’s funny…” — Isaac Asimov

The best humor goes beyond amusement. It can help people see the world from a new point of view and help people change the way they think. The humorist is a gadfly in the best sense of the word, one who annoys the powerful but provokes positive action. Even when kings wielded absolute power, they had the licensed fool or court jester to provide them with the truth in a humorous way. Below I have some humorous things that make you think and some things that are just funny.

COVID-19 HUMOR

This has been a year when I’ve found myself saying things in 2020 that wouldn’t have made any sense in 2019 (similar to this Saturday Night Live skit) like:

  • “Kids, remember to walk in the middle of the street—not on the sidewalks. There are people on the sidewalks.”
  • “I don’t think they’ll let you in the bank if you’re not wearing your mask.”
  • “Well, I guess I don’t need pants for this conference call.”
  • “Please mute yourself during the Zoom Bat Mitzvah.”

And here’s some so my favorite COVID-19 humor links for the year:

QUOTES OF THE YEAR

  • Quote of the Year: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. — The opening line to Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
  • Today I worked from home, ran 10 miles, homeschooled my kids, cleaned the house, made a delicious dinner, and got my kids to bed early. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you lie. — Mommy Owl on Twitter
  • Look, I fully support banning travel from Europe to prevent the spread of infectious disease. I just think it’s 528 years too late. — Rebecca Nagle, Cherokee Writer
  • We don’t like to watch the Price is Right. The beginning is great when they guess the prices, play the games and spin the wheel. But we don’t like the end where Andrew Cuomo talks about the Coronavirus. — My Kids
  • Ouch. You picked a bad year to switch jobs. Switching jobs these days is like playing musical chairs when the music stops. — My friend Jason
  • Whoever did the PR in the 90s about cutting open plastic six-pack rings so they don’t choke animals did an amazing job. They should find that person and put them in charge of the wear a mask campaign. — Rachel Syme

MY LIBRARY SECTION

This year, instead of just having a blog, I also created a library section on my website. I wanted a place to put all of my awesome stuff. Growing up, I always wanted to have a great library in my house. I remembered the excitement when I learned that I could buy the entire collection of The New Yorker in bound volumes and put them on a shelf. I’d imagined that I would collect great encyclopedias from the past to peruse whenever I pleased. They would live in mahogany bookcases that looked like they’d belonged to JP Morgan. Then I realized that a New York City apartment doesn’t have space for a physical library. So I did the next best thing. I created a virtual library that includes lots of the things I enjoy, like my favorite books, words, and tools.

I’ve broken the library into a number of sections. For me, the sections aren’t hard lines but themes to peruse. Rather than looking at them as Dewey Decimal numbers, think of them as different rooms and exhibitions as you move through the library.

MY FAVORITE MEDIA

TIPS ON LIVING

  • Tips and Tricks. This is my list of useful life hacks that I’ve learned over the years filled with things to start doing, things to stop doing, and “How To” items.
    • Start Asking People “What Are You Passionate About?” In New York, everyone likes to ask “What do you do for a living?” I’ve found that asking “What are you passionate about?” is better. In fact, Amazon puts this question on the internal phone directory for everyone to share.
    • Stop Losing Your Laptop at the Airport. Put your business card and cell phone number on your laptop to avoid losing it at the airport. Here’s how it worked for me more than once.
    • How To Choose a Better Book or Movie. This one is a tip from my friend Seth. If you’re going to watch the movie “From the People Who Brought You Movie A” you should probably go see Movie A. It’s going to be at least as good as the new movie.
  • “Laws” Named After People. I love laws (really lessons) that are named after people. Some are are useful, others are just fun. My favorite “law” named after a person is Stigler’s law of Eponymy which states that no scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer. Wrap your mind around that one!
  • Lessons from My Grandparents. My grandparents taught me so many lessons. This is my homage to them.

THINGS I LIKE

THANKS!

Thanks for making it through all of this! As I sign off from this email, I wanted to leave you with one of my cards. I wrote about the story behind these cards, but the message stands by itself. Thanks for being my friend. You’re Awesome. Let’s Talk.My Card

Thank you all for your friendship and support this tough year. As I look at JibberJobber (my job search CRM), I see over 100 people that helped me on this journey. Now it’s my turn. As I started thanking people, one very generous and instrumental mentor said, “It’s my pleasure, now it’s time for you to pay it forward.” So tell me what I can do to help you.

Rob

P.S. If you’d like to read more of my writing check out schlaff.com. If you want to get more articles by email you can subscribe here to get 1-3 emails a month. If you want to unsubscribe from this annual letter you can do it here.