A study published last year quantifies how social media platforms like TikTok create digital peer pressure and use it to their own advantage. Kids feel compelled to use these platforms because their friends are on then even though it makes them feel worse.
Why are our kids using social media so much when there are piles of evidence that it’s bad for them? This isn’t the classic generational clash where parents disapprove of the new-fangled gadgets the kids have. Instead, it’s about how these tools are hijacking their social worlds and enabling a new form of peer pressure.
It’s all about Tech virality. When something “goes viral,” it captures the public’s attention and spreads rapidly. Normally technologies go viral because they offer benefits that users find valuable and compelling. For example, productivity apps might go viral because they help users manage their time more efficiently, while a new game might spread quickly due to its engaging and fun gameplay.
Social media’s virality is different. It doesn’t focus on the benefits of having the product but on the negative benefit of not having it. The platform’s growth depends on creating a social environment where not participating leads to social exclusion. Kids who aren’t on social media can feel left out and disconnected from their peers, compelling them to join and stay active despite the known risks.
This is classic teen peer pressure but engineered by social media companies. Kids know that these tools make them unhappy but they still do it because of their friends. Research1 published last year by the National Bureau of Economics Research, contained a very interesting finding. Researchers asked users how much they would need to be paid to deactivate social media platforms. Users would need to be paid $59 to deactivate TikTok and $47 to deactivate Instagram, illustrating how deeply these platforms are ingrained in daily life.
Here’s the interesting part. When asked how much they would need to be paid to have these platforms go away, they said they wouldn’t need to be paid anything. In fact, rather than accept payment they would be willing to give the researcher $28 for TikTok and $10 for Instagram to have everyone, including themselves, deactivate TikTok and Instagram. Yet despite the fact that 64% of active TikTok users and 48% of active Instagram users experience harmful effects from the platform, they still use them due to fear of missing out and social pressure rather than genuine enjoyment.
This isn’t an accident or a bug. This is a feature of the social media platform that allows it to grow like a virus. A social media platform’s viral adoption is a form of peer pressure. When a new platform gains popularity, it’s often not just because of its features or benefits, but because users feel compelled to join to stay connected and relevant among their peers. This pressure is driven by psychological triggers like fear of missing out (FOMO), social validation, and the desire to conform. As more people adopt the platform, the social pressure intensifies, making others feel they must join to avoid being left out. This creates a cycle where the platform’s growth is fueled more by social dynamics and the need for inclusion than by the actual value it provides.
Overall, this research tells us that just because people are using a product doesn’t mean that it’s good for them or even that they enjoy it. These large tech companies are essentially bullying us, and our kids, into using these platforms because the cost of not using them is so high. Personally, I’ve been fooled for quite a while about this. I’d always focused on the positive benefits of network effects. I thought that’s why everyone wanted to be on these platforms was because of the value they provided. But based on this research, I now see that it’s the negative costs of not being on the platforms that drives their growth. It highlights that the platform’s goals are not only misaligned with those of parents but also with the interests of teenagers.
- Here’s the full papaer. ↩︎
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