Here are two quotes from commencement speeches:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” — Steve Jobs
Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement, 2005
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“You’re not the cold clay lump with a big belly you leave behind when you die. You’re not your collection of walking personality disorders.” — Anne Lamott
Anne Lamott, UC Berkeley Commencement, 2003
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Which one will inspire you to lead a better life?
You’d probably say Jobs’s quote. It’s got the tempo for a moment like that — clear, weighty, just poetic enough to feel profound. The kind of line that lands just before the graduates erupt in applause and someone’s parents wipe away a tear. It sounds like purpose. Like momentum. And that’s what we want in those moments: something clear, stirring, a call to action.
And while Jobs’s line makes for a powerful send-off, Lamott’s feels more like the voice you’d want in your ear once the ceremony ends — when you’ve moved back home and you’re googling “how to write a cover letter” at 11:46 p.m. on a Wednesday. It’s not trying to impress you. It’s trying to sit beside you. Maybe hand you a granola bar.
There’s a framework that helps name this contrast — something David Zahl calls high and low anthropology. A high anthropology looks at people at their best. =It’s aspirational — and at its best, it can light a fire. That’s the air Jobs’s quote breathes.
But there’s a catch. If we believe we’re supposed to be exceptional, every failure starts to look like a character flaw. Once we achieve a goal, there’s always more to do. What begins as inspiration can quietly become pressure.
By contrast, a low anthropology looks at how we really are — a little bit broken from the start. It’s not an original sin sort of thing. We’re not bad, not doomed — just human. Limited. A mix of intention and instinct, courage and confusion. Anne Lamott speaks to this version of us. She doesn’t idealize us, but she doesn’t condemn us either. Instead, she tells the truth in kind and compassionate way:
Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, and scared, even the people who seem to have it more or less together. They are much more like you than you would believe. So try not to compare your insides to their outsides.
Anne Lamott, TED Talk: “12 Truths I Learned from Life and Writing”
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It’s not the kind of quote you’d embroider on a throw pillow. But it’s the kind that feels like a warm sweater on a cold, wet day. It makes us feel like we are not alone.
And here’s what’s quietly radical about that: it doesn’t lower the standard. It lowers the shame.
The irony, of course, is that Jobs and Lamott are not at odds. They’re both offering a way to live with integrity. Jobs tells us to be brave. Lamott reminds us that bravery is hard and that no one is perfect. One message moves upward, the other inward. They meet somewhere in the middle.
Because the truth is: you can’t follow your heart if you’re too burned out to hear it. You can’t live someone else’s life, but you also can’t live your own if you’re pretending not to be scared. To live the way Jobs encouraged — with clarity and intention — you need what Lamott offers: rest, realism, and a lot of gentle self-forgiveness.
Set your sights high. But carry snacks.
Stay hungry, Stay foolish. But stay human, too.
This is a part of a series of posts inspired by Oliver Burkeman’s Meditations for Mortals.