This story was inspired by the first episode of Invisibia and written in collaboration with ChatGPT (here’s the link for ChatGPT+ users). It’s about how to take the power out of the negative thoughts in our head.
I’m on a bit of a self-improvement kick these days. Today’s post is about getting rid of those annoying thoughts that pop up and derail you during the day.
No one likes me.
Examples of negative thoughts
I’m so fat.
Why can’t I get anything right.
I’ll never be happy.
These thoughts have always been with us since the beginning. They’re scary because we think that there’s some underlying truth to them. That there’s some hidden reason that’s bubbling up. Maybe it’s a moral failing that we were born with but keep evading.
It’s scary to get help because we have a perverted notion in our head some psychotherapist who looks like Woody Allen who wants us to lie down on a couch and have us talk about our mother. And would you really trust someone that looks like Woody Allen on family matters?
But I want to tell you that psychotherapy these days has come a long way from the days of Freud, and the more recent versions of psychotherapy are more about the therapist being a thought coach or a meditation teacher rather than a head shirker.
In this blog post, I want to take you on a journey where we explore how therapists think about negative thoughts, and how it has evolved over time. From the dawn of psychotherapy with Freud to the modern embrace of mindfulness, our relationship with our thoughts has undergone a profound transformation.
The Beginnings of Psychotherapy and Freud’s Influence
The journey into the depths of the human mind arguably began with Sigmund Freud in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Before Freud, the landscape of mental health was largely dominated by simple explanations for mental illness, assuming that they were either the result of moral failings or physical diseases. This period was marked by a reliance on interventions like bloodletting or confinement, reflecting a rudimentary understanding of mental health that lacked a cohesive psychological perspective.
Sigmund Freud, a neurologist by training, embarked on a radically different path. He introduced the concept of the unconscious mind, proposing that many of our thoughts and behaviors are driven by desires, fears, and memories that lie outside of our conscious awareness. Freud’s theory of psychoanalysis posited that negative thoughts—those unwelcome mental guests—were not mere noise but signals from this hidden realm of the unconscious. According to Freud, such thoughts could reveal insights into unresolved conflicts and repressed desires, often stemming from early childhood experiences. By finding the root causes of mental distress, the psychotherapist could work with the patient and heal the wound.
Freud’s innovative yet controversial work fundamentally changed our approach to mental health, moving away from viewing mental illness as purely physical or moral to understanding it as deeply psychological. Despite criticisms of his focus on sexual repression and the Oedipal complex, his introduction of psychotherapy—a method where discussion and exploration of the mind offer insight and relief—has had an undeniable impact. Freud’s legacy lives on, shaping how therapists and psychologists navigate the complexities of the human psyche, even as some of his theories have been refined or challenged over the years.
Cognitive Reframing: A New Approach to Thoughts
As psychotherapy continued to evolve through the 20th century, one of the most significant advancements came with the development of cognitive reframing techniques. This paradigm shift, moving away from the Freudian focus on the unconscious, placed a spotlight on the individual’s thought patterns as the primary source of emotional distress and behavioral issues. Cognitive reframing emerged as a cornerstone of cognitive therapy, fundamentally altering the therapeutic approach to intrusive thoughts and emotional well-being.
The emergence of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) around the 1980s, marked a pivotal shift in the field of psychotherapy. This transition heralded a new era that diverged significantly from the Freudian emphasis on the unconscious mind and the symbolic meanings of thoughts and dreams. CBT introduced a pragmatic, solution-focused approach that prioritized the present over the exploration of past experiences.
The insight behind CBT was that our thoughts aren’t necessarily “right.” Listening to negative thoughts and trusting them leads to unnecessary stress and pain. CBT focuses on something they call automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). These are the spontaneous, baseless, often irrational thoughts that make you feel awful and can lead to anxiety, depression, and other problems. CBT posits that these thoughts, despite their persuasive presence in our minds, do not necessarily hold any real truth.
Mindfulness and Acceptance: Thoughts as Just Thoughts
The late 20th and early 21st centuries saw a shift towards mindfulness and acceptance-based approaches, teaching individuals to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment. This perspective, rooted in Buddhist meditation practices and adapted into therapeutic contexts, marked a departure from actively changing thoughts to observing them as transient mental events. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) further developed this idea, combining mindfulness with a commitment to actions aligned with personal values.
Here’s how it works: First, CBT helps you notice when you’re thinking those gloomy thoughts, the kind that bring you down or make you anxious. These are often automatic, like a habit, and we might not even realize we’re doing it. Then, CBT teaches you how to challenge these thoughts, asking yourself, “Is this really true?” or “Is there another way to look at this situation?”
Finally, CBT encourages you to change your actions. Instead of avoiding things that make you anxious, you learn to face them step by step. It’s like learning to swim by gradually going deeper into the water, rather than jumping straight into the deep end.
In short, CBT is about noticing your thoughts, questioning them, and then acting in ways that help you feel better and live the life you want. It’s practical, straightforward, and it gives you tools you can use right away.
Mindfulness and Acceptance: Thoughts as Just Thoughts
But the evolution didn’t stop there. Third wave psychotherapy is like the latest upgrade in the world of therapy, focusing not just on our thoughts or actions, but on how we relate to our thoughts and feelings. Picture yourself sitting by a river, watching leaves float by. Each leaf is a thought or a feeling. Instead of grabbing at them or getting swept away with them, you simply notice them and let them drift by. That’s the heart of third wave therapy: learning to observe your thoughts and feelings without getting tangled up in them.
This approach combines old wisdom, like mindfulness from ancient meditation practices, with modern therapy techniques. It teaches you to be more aware of the present moment, accepting thoughts and feelings without judgment. It’s like changing your relationship with your mind, learning to be kind and understanding toward yourself, even when faced with difficult or uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
Third wave therapy also emphasizes your values, guiding you to live a life that truly matters to you. Imagine you’re at the helm of a ship, and your values are your compass. Even when the sea gets rough, your compass helps you steer in the direction you want to go.
In simple terms, third wave psychotherapy helps you find peace with your inner world, live more fully in the present, and move towards what’s truly important to you. It’s not about changing your thoughts or feelings, but changing how you relate to them, making life’s journey smoother and more meaningful.
Summing It All Up
Psychotherapy has come a long way, transforming from traditional analysis to a more personal and empowering coaching style. Today’s therapy equips us with practical tools to manage thoughts and emotions. It’s about learning techniques that you can apply yourself, such as meditation, to find calm and focus in your life.
While these techniques are easy to learn, implementing them can be tough. That’s where the therapist comes in. It’s overwhelming at first. I needed a therapist to help me learn to meditate. I was so anxious at the time that meditating made me feel physically ill. But, with gentle guidance and unwavering support, I overcame that initial discomfort. And you can too. The role of a therapist is like that of a trusted guide, who walks alongside you, illuminating the path forward when it seems too dark to tread alone. They’re there to help you harness your inner strength, to navigate through the rough patches, and to celebrate your victories, no matter how small they may seem.
There are many effective therapies available today that can help you turn negative thoughts into something positive. These methods are practical and grounded, focusing on building resilience and seeing challenges in a new light. The key message here is that you have the power to change. With the right tools and the support of therapy (if you want that), you can reframe those negative thoughts turn them around.
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