Summary: Today was Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement. The holiday focuses on acknowledging sins over the past year and seeking forgiveness. Initially, I felt guilt for my mistakes, but I realized that guilt is heavily shaped by Western Christian culture, where mistakes often carry a sense of finality and require divine salvation. In contrast, Judaism views mistakes as part of the human experience and emphasizes teshuva—the process of repentance, repair, and moving forward. This approach is more freeing, encouraging growth and improvement without being trapped by guilt, offering a healthier path toward personal renewal.
Today was Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement. One of the main things we do is acknowledge our sins and pray for forgiveness.
One of the most important prayers is called Ashamnu. It’s a list of all the things we might have done wrong over the past year:
We abuse, we betray, we are cruel, we destroy, we embitter, we falsify, we gossip, we hate, we insult, we jeer, we kill, we lie, we mock, we neglect, we oppress, we pervert, we quarrel, we rebel, we steal, we transgress, we are unkind, we are violent, we are wicked, we are extremists, we yearn to do evil, we are zealous for bad causes.
When I started taking this seriously in my 20s, I noticed how many of those words started jumping out at me. I mean, who hasn’t jeered, mocked, or quarreled? It was like a mirror reflecting back all the small, stupid things I had done over the year. Suddenly, I felt this wave of guilt—stupid Rob doing stupid things. But then I realized that guilt is something we’re trained to feel. It’s a deep part of the Western Christian culture we’re surrounded by.
Dara Horn, the Jewish-American author, writes a lot about the differences between Jewish and Christian ideas, especially in how we approach things like mistakes and forgiveness. A lot of how we in the West see mistakes comes from the story of Jesus. In that story, everything points toward one big, final resolution—sin and salvation. You make mistakes, and then you need to be saved from them, usually by something outside of yourself. The way it works is: Jesus died for your sins, and if you accept that, you’re saved. Done deal.
That narrative has shaped so much of how people in Western society see the world. Mistakes feel heavy, like stains that need divine intervention to be washed away. They can end up defining you until you get rid of them through forgiveness. This kind of thinking makes errors feel like irreversible failures, as if every wrong move marks you in some big way, and the only way out is an all-or-nothing kind of redemption.
In Judaism, mistakes are seen a little differently. They’re part of being human. Instead, they’re opportunities to grow, to learn, and most importantly, to fix things. That’s where the idea of teshuva—repentance—comes in. You make a mistake, you acknowledge it, and you do the work to make it right. Then, you move on. The whole process is about taking responsibility, not feeling guilty forever. It’s more about “What can I do better next time?” than “How can we forget this ever happened?”
There are a lot of benefits to thinking this way. When you see mistakes as part of the process, they don’t paralyze you. You don’t get stuck in guilt or shame, and that lets you move forward. It’s easier to bounce back because the focus is on improving, not punishing yourself. And it makes you more compassionate to others, too. We all screw up. Instead of letting those screw-ups define us, we just try to be a little better each day. It’s a mindset that encourages small, steady improvements, rather than waiting for some big, life-changing solution to fix everything.
It’s much more freeing, mentally. When you know that you’re going to make mistakes—and that it’s okay—you can try new things without the fear of failure hanging over you. You can take risks, experiment, and push yourself, because if you mess up, it’s just another chance to grow. It makes life more of an ongoing project, not a test you’re constantly on the verge of failing.
This contrasts significantly with the cultural idea of “Jewish guilt.” While the stereotype suggests Jews carry a heavy burden of guilt, the actual practice of Yom Kippur reflects the opposite. The focus is on release—acknowledging our wrongs, making amends, and moving forward. The process of teshuva is meant to alleviate guilt, offering a structured path to take responsibility, seek forgiveness, and begin again with a clean slate. In the end, Yom Kippur reminds us that our mistakes don’t define us. Life isn’t about perfection, but about learning, growing, and continuously moving forward. This mindset frees us to approach life with resilience and curiosity, knowing that each misstep is just part of the journey toward becoming a better version of ourselves.
You must be logged in to post a comment.